My New One

Yes, the best wife I’ve ever had isn’t easy with me.

Unfortunately, I always have a new one with me. I wouldn’t say „daily“ but I find it hard to resist.

Young, well, it depends on how old you are, I think she’s between 30 and 40.

I don’t want to ask her, she wouldn’t answer anyway.

Leather, she only wears leather.

I love leather.

And she’s Italian!

„The Legend.“

That’s English.

But „Made in Italy“.

The previous one was from Berlin, a Liebeskind, I met her online, I made her look „masculine“ with chains, bones and various knick-knacks, she was very feminine, almost too feminine.

For me, that is.

She’s black.

And now she, my new one, has just been dyed burgundy, but I could have that done if necessary.

No, something colorful that fits these times.

And she has 7 extensions, sorry, but I like them all.

Unfortunately, I’ve had many, over and over again, and I can’t quite let go of any of them. I love a little „exchange“, so to speak, even during a week.

Unfortunately, she has a problem.

She smells like Donald Trump on a rainy morning.

Musty, damp, old.

Horrible, really.

I tried everything, first wiping the outside, then the inside. Then I greased her leather, just lightly, I don’t like her sticky.

Then I sprayed Adidas Victory inside, a lot, even in the 7 compartments.

I let her sleep outside overnight. Now I filled my wife’s bra bag with coffee beans, put it in the big compartment and zipped it up.

I had asked her, it was okay.

The essential oils in the beans actually help with odors.

You can see her in the picture.

Cool, isn’t she?

It was in front of a house yesterday, to go.

A Baileys glass with it, thick glass. Smells like glass.

So neutral.

Oh, in the background, that’s „Brian,“ the rock.

An ex-neighbor gave it to me, he worked in construction and he used to say „Brian! After Brian Ferry from Roxy Music, my mom thought he was cool!“

Unfortunately, I never said a word, Brian Ferry isn’t spelled like Brian Connolly from The Sweet, but like Bryan Adams from Canada.

You can also say nothing.

Anyway, my Brian stone weighs more than a Volvo. And the singer of Roxy Music heaved it right up to our door. He weighed a lot too, especially his upper body. The ex-neighbor, not the one from Roxy, he was always slim.

I love Brian.

„Julianne“, my new one, too.

I think Julianne Moore is just great and she used to be red, but you can change colors.

So, never mind.

What do I do about Julianne’s „muff“?

• 
  “ peace, tranquility and good will“