School-Part 12-„Questions of Attractiveness“

Remark: I’m also trying the English version here, but it’s school specific and I don’t know if it’s transferable to other countries, so in short: read it as an experiment 🙂

Tuchel, he’s an ascetic, he probably fasts all year, I don’t know if he eats or if he feeds himself by watching videos of other teams. I prefer these relaxed guys, like Ancelotti, who chews gum, or Zidane, who is out there and always knows he can do better. Or Xabi Alonso, who always looks the same on the pitch, 200 touches, but almost always deeply relaxed. A really, really great player, by the way! Real Sociedad, Liverpool FC 5 years, Real Madrid 7 years, Bayern Munich 3 years. Any questions? That’s Toni Kroos level! Of course you disagree with me, but I understand something about it, sorry. Messi, Ronaldo, yes, yes, their goals, but the great organizers of the game are in the defensive midfield. Exactly, they don’t have to run so much, effectively trotted is half the battle.

Ah, yes, that’s right, Lent. That’s what I wanted to write about. Bayern Munich lost 0:3 in „Vizekusen“, yesterday 0:1 in Rome. Guys, they’re fasting! No goals for eight weeks, it’s possible. You just have to want it.

When I was in school, I also fasted a lot, but it wasn’t intentional, it just happened because the work is quite demanding and exhausting. After the first hour, I knew the names of the boys who stood out the most, not by being disruptive or anything, no, they liked to ask critically: „No pen? Why is that?“ It’s not about the pen, they know that no discussion is possible, it’s about having a little flag on the pole. There are 30 other people listening who don’t know him. I like that, a smile and a „Because that’s what I want!“ You can also exaggerate the argument. „Because I’m the boss here,“ you can say with a grin if you want to raise the national flag yourself.

So I knew their names right away, like a coach who wants to know the captain’s name. And I knew the names of the two most attractive girls in each class on the first day, I have to admit, I can’t help it. Of course, I got their names mixed up all the time, I’m not stupid enough for anyone to notice. Teachers are people, don’t forget that.  Unfortunately, I didn’t notice them for three years because I was busy with other things. At the graduation ceremony and the graduation party, the only thing I noticed was that they looked pretty good, very threatening, the whole thing. There were just too many numbers, too many graphics, too many letters.

Of course, there were exceptions, like the one who came to the teacher’s desk before the report conference, leaned over it so that I could have judged her navel with a 2-inch bounce in the chair, and asked if she really got an E. „You, you don’t impress me like that, why don’t you undo two more buttons and then walk through the hallway?“ Wow, she was gone quickly. Somehow I never saw her again, maybe she changed classes. 

It might work in German lessons to speak to „Mr Prine“ , but in math a „John“ is more of an obstacle, it’s much easier to learn with a more relaxed tone. No one ever complained. But there was one person I kept addressing as „Mister Black“ until he got tired of it, he asked for it before. Another flag on the mast case. (You can only understand that in German. You address someone as „Mister“ differently than you do with „John“.)

Or another, great in math, top of the class, always in the front row, but often wearing light clothes. At 30°C in the shade, that was sometimes „way too much“. „Wow, I’m hot,“ she would swear, barely wearing anything. At some point, as a teacher, you can no longer concentrate, so I got her a sweater from my stash. If I got soaking wet on the bike, I always had a fresh change. Slippers too, nothing is worse than wet shoes for 8 hours. Oh well, she just grinned and put the sweater on, it looked much better on her than on me. I was a little more afraid of the oral exam than she was, or so it seemed to me. I was afraid that if she showed up like that on the hot day of the exam, she wouldn’t get a B or an A. My colleagues would hardly listen to her and would blame my proposed grade on something other than mathematical merit. So I took her aside for a few days before the exam.

„You, Nike, about the oral exam next week, … so, … please listen to me *exactly*, … so, if you are talking about the Cournot point, I would be very grateful if I could not *see* that with you.“

„Okaaaaaay,“ was all that came out. Fortunately, she came in a black dress, knee-length, high-necked, short sleeves, hair pinned up. Not boring at all, but so that you had to listen to her, the Elisabeth Hasselbeck effect, you could call it. Grade A, she was even smarter than I thought. At the graduation ceremony, I just quickly said:

„Oh, thank you for ……“ I liked to communicate with Nike in incomplete sentences, she didn’t need points.

„Yes, yes, I understood that too, …., so I understood what you just said.“

Stupidly said, I may have taught her less in math than with the uncertain remark, who knows. I may have told you that before, but that only increases my credibility 😉

Another story to add? I usually had half of the high school students in my classes, roughly speaking. So it was hard to get past me and the other physicist, we were the home defense. We rarely spoke, he wasn’t the type for words. Once I filled in for him for a while in several groups, just one hour a week, that was all I could manage. Somehow that works, even with a class test, preferably without bad grades. Anyway, when he came back, he just asked, „Where should I continue in 12th grade?“ „With Bohr-Sommerfeld!“ „And in 13?“ „With the Hamming code!“ We didn’t need to exchange any more, no matter how you look at it. We rarely spoke in complete sentences.

So I haven’t had to teach all students, but there are some who greet you in the hall without knowing you, and you greet them back, but you don’t even know their names. It’s always very amusing, it says something like: „I know you exist, but unfortunately we don’t see each other in class.“ It’s not gender-specific, to get this right.

Anyway, I knew Kimberley by sight and greeting, and because Captain Bounty always raved about her physical qualities. A bit annoying, but we’d been through that. So I sat in on her oral exam in philosophy, probably just as an observer. She could do everything, an A-grade case, that was clear to me after 2 minutes, linguistically top, critical, well-read, a broad smile. But also with a toe over the line, not arrogant, self-confident, a bit superior, she could afford it.

„If you have no further questions, I would now like to …“ or „If I may clarify your question a little more …“.

If she had done that to me in math, I would have advised her before the exam not to be too provocative, I rather enjoyed it, but there are colleagues who like to show that they are the better ones. In short, I had fun in the philosophy exam, you can definitely see that in my face, there’s little I can do about it. I got more of Kimberley’s smile than I deserved. The examiner’s wife worked in sleep research, which is probably where she met him. Of course I grinned. Kimberley was only wearing a vest upstairs, maybe from her brother. Nothing else, just the vest. When the exam was over, the first thing the other philosopher said was: „It’s quite warm in here.“

Great moment. A grade. Still, the vest thing was unnecessary.
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