Wheat cheeks and ponytails

I usually shop at the bakery in the Edeka supermarket, except on Sundays when I have to drive a bit further and go to the bakery at the roundabout. Sundays are always a little out of the ordinary.

There are several different bakery sales assistants at Edeka, always dressed in white. On Christmas and New Year’s Eve they wear black or red. I don’t like such exceptions very much, but it looks good on them. The order I place and the conversation have basically the same flow, it impresses with its brevity and objectivity, especially with the one we’re talking about here. Actually, it’s always there.

Some things in life can’t be changed or interrupted, it’s a kind of ritual. I’ve been doing this at Edeka for years. I can be quite annoying, sometimes I make a little joke, and then people look at me very carefully, more like sideways, as if they were looking for an escape route. But that’s exactly what happens with my jokes from time to time. In the bakery, especially in the morning, it’s unpleasant for everyone involved.

So the procedure is always the same, I order a certain number of wheat rolls, I say

„4 wheat rolls, please …. (short pause, always the same length, breathe once) …. please something lighter, if possible“.

Exactly these words, exactly the order, the pause of three seconds, not a single variation is allowed. They are almost always baked too dark, at least for me. This is a problem many bakers have. The rolls at Edeka are actually called „Weizenbäckchen“, but I don’t use words like that. She corrected me once and then looked at me. She never did it again.

It was during the World Cup.

The saleswoman has such a pleasant tone of voice, the one with the ponytail is dark, the wheat rolls are lighter. She’s never angry, never in a hurry, it’s a holiday tone that says: „I like doing this, but I also look forward to coffee and a cigarette during my little break, when the nice regular customers are sitting outside“. Sometimes the police, sometimes the street cleaners, lots of people come by.

I would never, ever sit there. Then she might say something like, „Please pass me the ashtray“ and then everything is broken, then I’ll have to buy the rolls somewhere else, I’d be in trouble.

She says „gladly“ to the request for the lighter ones. Then she bags it up, finishes the bill, I silently hold the card in my hand, she then always says „with card, can go“, then we both always wait, but also always 3 seconds, until the machine has understood that. Then she asks „Receipt for this?“ Always the same, the voice goes up slightly at the end, always. If she didn’t do that, my day would be ruined. „No, thank you“. I vary minimally, very rarely, about once a month I say „I don’t need a receipt“ when paying by card. She very rarely asks for it a few seconds later though, about once every six months. Then I make a little grin face in the calendar. Because of the long conversation. Finally, she says „have a nice day“, again with the scale upwards. „You too“ and off I go. Just like in the theater.

A few years ago, she got her first tattoo, I think on her left arm, in the summer, later one on her neck, it says „Blessed“. That’s important now, it’s not about tattoos, everyone can do what they want with their skin, especially if it looks good.

It went on like that for a while. But then suddenly the tattoo on her neck was gone again! The next time it was there again, I was confused. When you want everything to be the same, it just gets you down.

Then, I was a bit tired and exhausted and stood at the bakery counter again, and there were two bakery saleswomen! Both with ponytails, dark as the rye rolls, white blouses, one „Blessed“, the other not yet. Great, isn’t it?

Same tone of voice, same text, same buns, same surname.
It says so on the sign.

They don’t look that much alike, I realized. I can’t ask, what with the ritual and all.